Effective communication is often thought of as speaking clearly and articulating ideas well, but one of the most critical parts of communication is actually the ability to listen. During a performance coaching course I attended in Southampton with Ric Hayden, we explored the often overlooked skill of listening. Ric emphasised how powerful listening can be in resolving conflicts, building rapport, and enhancing team dynamics.
Stephen R. Covey’s quote, “Most people do not listen with the intent to understand; they listen with the intent to reply,” perfectly captures the challenge many of us face. Too often, we’re focused on what we want to say next rather than fully understanding the speaker’s message. Listening isn’t just hearing words; it’s about engaging with the speaker’s emotions and tone. When we listen actively, we acknowledge not just the content, but the person behind the words.
In the workshop, we participated in a listening task where Ric shared a story with the group, followed by questions to test us on what we remembered. This exercise highlighted how easily we can miss key details when we’re not truly engaged. We then discussed the concept of ‘filters’ – how our personal biases, experiences, and assumptions affect what we hear and how we interpret information. Understanding these filters helped us realise how they can create communication barriers, which, when removed, pave the way for stronger, more authentic relationships and more effective conflict resolution.
When we actively listen, we not only understand better, but we also validate the other person’s experience. This makes for quicker conflict resolution, as both parties feel heard and respected. Listening also plays a crucial role in building rapport. When people feel understood, they are more likely to collaborate openly and contribute to the team’s success. By listening with empathy and intention, we build and maintain trust, encourage open dialogue, and improve overall communication.
Ultimately, listening is a skill that, when mastered, strengthens team dynamics and leads to more productive, harmonious interactions. As Covey reminds us, true listening is about understanding, not just replying. When we invest in listening, we pave the way for deeper connections and more effective communication.
If you’d like to learn more about the effectiveness of listening, Ric delves into these skills on the Learning Cog YouTube channel. Or you can get in touch with us at info@learning.com.
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