Developing Emotional Intelligence – Part 1 – Self Regard

This blog is part of a series of blogs where we explore Emotional Intelligence. We will look at ways to be able to develop and enhance our own perceived levels of Emotional Intelligence.

What is Emotional Intelligence?

Well, you can take a look at our previous blog What is Emotional Intelligence and How Can I develop it, to find out some more. Emotional intelligence is all about how well you understand your own emotions and the emotions of others, and the ability to identify and manage them. Emotional Intelligence, also known as “Ei” or “EQ”, is now well established set of “Competencies” that contribute to performance, engagement and success.

Emotional Intelligence is broken down in to five key areas.Self Perception, Self Expression, Interpersonal, Decision Making and Stress Management. Within each of these areas there are three traits. We are going to discuss each of these traits in more detail with their own blog. This week we will be looking at Self Regard.

What is Self Regard?

Self Regard – having respect for self whilst understanding personal strengths and weaknesses. Feelings of inner strength and self-confidence are often related to Self Regard.

“Wanting to be someone else is a waste of the person you are.” ― Marilyn Monroe 

Self Regard measures how you evaluate yourself, your abilities, your achievements and other aspects of your life. It is the ability to look at and understand yourself, appreciating your perceived positive and negative aspects.

When Self Regard is operating well

• You feel secure and self confident in yourself.
• You have a good sense of who you are.
• Often have positive feeling and attitudes towards your work and life.
• The “I believe I can” spirit is strong in you.

When Self Regard is low:

• You have a tendency to be hard on yourself.
• You may be dissatisfied with your personal appearance, uncomfortable in yourself.
• You may have an inaccurate self image, leading to poor morale affecting the way you are around others
• Often only see others actions as against you.

Developing Self Regard

From time to time our levels of Self Regard may go up and may go down. Part of the natural ebb and flow of life where some days we feel super confident and others a little doubt may set in. During Learning Cog’s Emotional Intelligence (EQ) Masterclass, starting with ‘Self-Perception’, we explain how to assess you own emotional intelligence and how to develop your EQ awareness. In this blog we have added some areas to think about when developing Self Regard.

Observation

Find that person that you perceive to have high Self Regard. remember it is your perception of them which may not be their own perception. Here are some questions to ask yourself to help observe the behaviours of people with high Self Regard.

• Who do you know who looks and sounds confident in most situations? (this can include anyone, fiends, colleagues, public figures)
• How do they look? What do they wear?
• What do they do to look after themselves?
• What aspects of how they are would you like to reflect in yourself?

Self Coaching

Here are some questions to ask yourself when self coaching,

• When I think about my Strengths and Weaknesses what words do I use? If they are negative, what would be the positive?
• How do I judge myself? Am I overly critical or constructive?

Thinking and Reflection

Here is an exercise for you to complete to help build your understanding of your own Self Regard.

Exercise: An Affirmative Start

Make a list of your key strengths and qualities and use them as daily affirmations. You could look at yourself in the mirror every morning and say them to yourself. Write sentences that start with:

• I can…
• I am able to…
• I am good at…
• I am proud of…
• I am…

All your statements have to be positive, include activities that you are good at. Write them on post-it notes and leave them in places that you will see them on a regular basis.

Doing

It is important when developing your Self Regard that you pay attention to Doing things rather than planning. The practical element of everything you do is important.

• Avoid comparing yourself to others, if your self talk is negative you will never build your own self esteem.
• Practice being as accepting and forgiving of yourself as you are of others.
• Validate your self perceptions by gathering feedback from others about yourself.
• Learn to recognise the physiological states that you feel which are associated with feeling self confident.
• Act as if you are feeling confident even when you are not.
• List the positive and negative feelings you have about yourself, and how those feelings affect you.

Developing your Self regard will support you being strong and confident in everything that you do, leading to a happy healthy life. Why not get in touch and talk to us more about developing Emotional Intelligence in yourself, your Leadership Team or your whole business. info@learningcog.com

We would love to hear about your experiences.

Look out for Developing Emotional Intelligence – Part 2 – Self Actualisation